I bow to the women in the world that have a child or children that do not have to experience the Dead Beat Blues!!!!!! It must be a wonderful feeling to have a partnership with the other half with the overall being “We will take care of OUR child”.
Now, I don’t know many mothers who haven’t or don’t experience this Dead Beat Blues I speak of. I could probably count on one hand of ALLLLLLLLLL the single mothers I know that may not experience this type of Blues. You all know who I’m talking about!!!! These dead beat fathers who don’t take care of their children.
Now, I think there are two types that could fall under this Blues. Type A: The father that does absolutely nothing for their child. Doesn’t call, doesn’t see them, seems to have no concern for them what so ever. And Type B: The father who halfass it because in their tiny little brains they are actually doing you a favor by taking care of their kids because they know you also have a Type A and should be grateful that he does anything at all. Let’s call this the Comparison Game.
Lucky for me, having two children I experience dumb ass A and B J.
Let’s talk about Type A first, as we are all well familiar with this type of “father”.
The Type A father you probably met at a young age, maybe as a teenager. This is probably the relationship you regret the most because you dealt with more BS than any human should have to because you thought you loved him. He was the one your parents warned you about but you just couldn’t resist his charming stupidity. He may have hit you with the famous “ITS NOT MINE!!!” after you told him. But once he came back to reality on that dumb ass comment he may or may not have been there for you throughout your pregnancy and more than likely once the little one arrived your relationship started to crumble because you grew up and he continued to act like a child.
Some years have passed and 9 time out of 10 things haven’t changed. You’re an adult and he’s still a child oblivious to all the hard work you put into raising your child alone. He more than likely rarely sees the child much less provides for him and seems to be fine with that although he was a victim himself of being a fatherless child. I assume he plans to keep the cycle going. Since his father did absolutely nothing for him he feels anything he does for his child is more than what his daddy did for him, so the child and mother should be grateful! So at that point you’ve more than likely taken him down for child support or said F it and have moved on without his help.
Type A father has become comfy living a childless life, not paying child support, seeing the child only a few times a year, not calling, or including the child in his life. Type A father doesn’t know what school his child goes to or what type of grades he makes, who his friends are in school or around the neighborhood. He’s not aware of any afterschool activities the child may be in much less offers to put him in any. I’m sure Type A father has made you his skate goat by blaming his non involvement on you…the mother and provider. He probably swears to others that you keep him from his child and you’re so mean and crazy to him that he can’t talk to you, so he just rather not see his child. And if he’s anything like my Type A loser he has other children that he doesn’t take care of and he has a girlfriend that has a child who he feels he should fully physically and finically support without question…mind you she had a Type A herself. Just a sad situation for the child, to see them so disappointed by the man who should be there first hero!
Let’s move on to Type B, if you’re as lucky as me you have this type as well.
Where do I start with Type B?!?!?! This story should be a little shorter J . You probably met this type a little later in your life, felt like this was a real relationship with real love and all that jazz. You assumed that the both of you would marry and have beautiful children together…..WRONG!!! Sike your mind! Your relationship with this type will soon break apart as well because what you thought was a man ready for a real relationship, marriage, and children is really just a teenager wanting to live a single life (where Type A was a child, you’ve at lease moved up to adolescence with Type B).
Your probably on your last limb with this relationship and during a make-up session you became pregnant. I mean shit happens right?!?!? The both of you try to work it out and stay together…more than likely for this lovely bundle on the way (which NEVER works BTW). You’re probably just going through the motions in this miserable relationship and nine months later we’re graced with a beautiful baby. Of course he acts like he’s gonna be the best father since Lawrence Butler but that’s an epic fail! Now because Type B kinda does what a father is supposed to do, this would obviously make him Father of the Year.
A few years have passed and he probably gets the child on a regular basis and has become a “I do what I can, when I can” type of father and because he plays the Comparison Game you should be appreciative. Oh, and if you weren’t aware by now anything he does for his child is a favor to you. Did I also mention that this type of father also works off of pure emotion like a bitch (excuse my French). He’s only allowed to do what he wants, because if you suggest what he should or could do that automatically means he’s a bad father even though all you said was “you can use hair ties instead of rubber bands.” Communication in this relationship is at an all time low because he so emotional you can’t ever say anything to him in fear that he may be offended and his emotions will take him into a whirlwind of a bitch fest that you choose to avoid at any cost! Dealing with this type is like a Catch22, and due to this emotion he tries to make your life a living hell because he’s a miserable breathing piece of life….I see no light at the end of this tunnel. THE END.
So needless to say please be careful who you decide to have a baby with!!!!!!!!!!!! You will be stuck with that person for the rest of your life, unless of course they do you the pleasure of jumping off a cliff and killing them self! But I doubt that would happen :/. Never expect these types of father to take too much responsibility for any of their actions because they never will. Be blessed and glad you got away from them before they started to corrupt your child with their stupidity and ridiculousness. For my single mommies have faith and stay strong as being a single mother of these types of “relationships” will be grueling and challenging!!!! Be the bigger person, and always do what’s best for you and your child/ren, they are the ones who will appreciate and respect you later down the line and will have an undying love for you that will never be taken away! #TEAMMOMMY
