10 Reasons I'm Not Ready To Date

Hey all!

So, I've been broken up for a little over a year. Now, that's my dating calculator but since my ex was dating someone before that I'm sure he'll say longer. ANYWHO!!!! I called myself trying to date and lets just say I wasn't feeling it. Does that mean I wasn't ready? Could it be I just wasn't meeting the right guy? Who knows, but here are my top 10 reasons why I may not be ready....

1. Case of the Ex.- I still chit chat with him. Is this giving me false hope that we might be together again so I'm not giving anyone else the proper chance. Which I should because I know he's entertaining these hoes. 
2. The Comparison Game- I feel like I have to upgrade from the last so I do a lot of comparison between what the new guy is doing verses what my old guy/s did at a certain point in our relationship. Maybe I should let the new guy be himself instead of comparing him to someone it didn't work with. Right? 
3. Stereotyping Myself- I feel because my major relationships haven't worked it must be something about me? Is it? I'm human and I'm growing and learning and I can say that I've learned thing from each relationship about myself, what I should work on to be a better me, what I do and don't want from another person, and how I wanted to be treated. But lately I kinda been feeling like maybe I'm just an unlovable person because of who I am, my attitude, the way I handle situations, and well because...... I can't keep a man. I know, I know, I should be positive and all that jazz but it's hard to be positive about yourself when you don't feel great about your lonely ass situation.
4. Only if....- "If only" I would have did everything right I wouldn't be here. 9 times out of 10 no matter what I would have done we may not have worked but sometimes I find myself in Lala Land saying "if only I would have done this or that we would've worked out" but you know what? It takes two of us to make OUR relationship work and obviously we both didn't work as a team to make it so, if only I get over it an move on I'd be fine...he did! 
5. The whole JB- After typing 1-4 maybe I'm not fully over my last relationship and how can I date and think I'm ready to be with someone else if I'm not even completely healed from the last. I'm only offering half of myself to the next person and that's not fair to him or myself. 
6. Meet.com- Nothing new, but I hate meeting new people!!! I hate the whole process of getting to know someone. All the dumb questions; what do you like, and where do you like to go, what do you want to be when you grow-up, and and the explanation of why I don't want more kids. UUUHHHH GAWD STFU!!!!! Let's just eat ice cream and chips and bug out on reality TV...SHIT!!!! 
7. Death to the Chivalrous Man- Good lawd is it to much to ask for man that has manners and is a gentlemen? I just get tired of meeting men who can't even open the door for you! After dating a few of the guys that I've met I just give up on men. I had one ask me after I scolded him about not opening my door or walking at a pace that I could keep up with, and knowing which side of the street I should be on, what was I going to do for him at home for him to be a gentlemen to me in the street? WTF?!?!?!? Are you serious sir? *drops mics and exits stage left because I'm done*
8. Effortlessly- Honestly I don't feel like putting in the effort. It sucks being alone and not having someone to talk to and confide in, or to hang with, to be close to, or to feel loved and needed...THAT SHIT SUCKKKKSSSS!!!! But it takes soooo much effort to make a relationship great and IDK if I'm ready to find out if the person I'm putting effort into wants to be great together.  I hate asking the "sooooo" question (so, where are we going? so, what are doing?) because if this fool says something crazy I swear I'm gonna be pissed that I've been wasting my time.  
9. Defining Moment- As much as I miss all the things I mentioned in #8  and imagine how I will meet my future beau I don't want being in a relationship too define who I am. I don't want to think so much about what I'm missing from a relationship that I miss out on what's gong on in my life right now. 
10. I Love You JB- Although I questions whether I want to be or am even ready to be in a relationship one thing I know for sure I love myself way to much to settle for one of these dumb ass ignorant no mannered ass niggas! "I'd rather be the prize you felt you deserved than be the option you felt forced to settle with. I challenge my love to bring more blessings than burdens." 

Now don't get me wrong my ex was a great guy, just not the guy for me and that's ok. Good luck to the next chick...you're gonna need it! LOL. And I would like to eventually meet the man of my dreams but I think I'd rather wait until I'm completely ready. I don't want to date out of desperation or loneliness, which is so easy to do when you're feeling like a lonely hag. I just pray nightly that God gives me strength to be able to release the people that don't belong in my life and open my heart to the right person when the time comes, and to have patience. My time will come and it won't be because I forced it, it will be because I patiently waited for the perfect gentlemen who wants to treat me like I deserve and excepts me for exactly who I am- a man who wants to love me wholeheartedly because I'm deserving that!

XOXOXO

JB 

Fight Night

Oh my! Where do I begin on this one?! I just got finished watching one of the many teen fight YouTube/ Worrrrrrlllllddd Star videos and I just wonder to myself where has the respect gone for ourselves? Why do these young people feel like EVERYTHING needs to be recorded and promoted? Don't get me wrong I obviously partake in the viewing of these videos....more out of curiosity of watching the person running their mouth and slinging threats get their ass beat (you know that's what happens..LOL)   but as I watch poor Sharkisha and Lil Damo get their ass beat on tape I can't help but wonder what made their dumb ass think this was a great idea?!?!? I mean did they plan this out the night before to become "hood famous"? Did they think they would be the beatie instead of the beater? How much influence did their friends have on hyping up the situation? AND where in Sam's name is their parents? Or any adult for that matter?

As a mother I'm going to just speak on that first. I feel like I am very protective over my kids and especially my son. This is the age where he can be easily influenced by his peers and boys can be welllll....dumb. He's extremely book smart but lacks common sense....his plans are quit interesting but his execution is by far the dumbest and honestly I never would have thought to do some of the things he does when I was his age.  He has a little cell phone...nothing fancy because I personally think he's to young for iPhone's and android phones. I feel those type of phones give him way more access to the outside world then he needs at 11 yrs old with Facebook, skype, Instagram, and other social media. But it leaves me in a catch 22 situation because am I then sheltering him from the new age of how kids are growing up? Or am I protecting him from this viscous world? To much access to the adult world is dangerous and I don't care how much monitoring of these account you do people are still crazy and still have access to your child (once again just my opinion). In feeling this why I think parents who have given their child this type of access encourages their preteen/teen stupidity then allowing them to have baby twerk contest, taking nudes, and making fight videos which is now spread across the worldwide web and for all to see and will continue to be out there for the rest of their lives. And although his phone isn't fancy and he doesn't have FB or IG I still look at his call log and read his text because I want to make sure he's not doing anything crazy. I wonder if these kids parents looked into their children's phone more often would they still be asking for or sending nudes and making outrageous videos?   If their parents were more involved would they even feel the need to do it in the first place? If the parents were more involved would the child feel more of a need to protect or stand up for what's going on then to turn a blind eye or record it for the world to see? But then again realistically kids are going to be kids and when there's a will there's a way. I know that all the blame does not land on the parents and as a parent you do your best to raise your child with dignity and respect not only for themselves but for other people  and at some point  you have to let them go and hope they continue living their lives with the values you instilled in them.


Now off my mommy soap box!!

The video I watched had teenage girls but I've seen plenty with boys as well. One of my closest friends recently wrote a blog on self respect that was absolutely amazing!  After reading it I defiantly looked at myself and wondered if I loved and appreciated myself as God does!! There is such an unrealistic expectation in the world of what beauty and love is and because of this it can cause you to have a false value of yourself. Do these young children experience this? I mean I assume they do because I do at thirty-something.  Loving and respecting yourself can be a daunting tasking when there are so many things in the world that can make you feel otherwise, make you feel undeserving. I would hope that if they did respect and love themselves more then they wouldn't feel the need to subject themselves to this and feeling the need to fight over a boy or girl, shaking their butt and flashing their boobies wouldn't be necessary. When you disrespect yourself your opening the doors for others to disrespect you as well...why would you want that? As I watch every video I wounder if they know how they look to other people...do they even care? I mean I guess sometime the next person does needs their ass tapped but more cases than not fighting is not the answer! In the grand scheme of things there really isn't anything you need to be fighting for unless you are trying to protect yourself.


I'm not 100% sure why all these fights start and have "friends" that encourage them and are willing to record but I sure hope that one day sooner than later these young people (and some older ones) realize that self respecting people do not act this way; flashing your body, bulling and fighting people are just not the way to get your point across or to be seen in this world. That people are laughing at you and not with you and they are judging you (not that it's hard for people to judge you!) and bringing this type of negative attention to yourself is not the way to begin your life. Be humble, love yourself and the ones who love you, learn from your mistakes and don't let anyone's negative opinion of you change the person you are meant to be and don't sweat the small stuff or people...they're down there for a reason!


Until next time!
J.